Thanksgiving

It's my first Thanksgiving in 31 years without Dennis, and the tears have started already—and it's not even eight o'clock in the morning yet. I'll be going to Jim and Greg's today like we've done for the past eight years, and the people that will be gathering there will help me get through the day. I'm very grateful for my friends and family and for all they've done for me—this year in particular. Last year was difficult as I watched him slip away, but this almost one year of grieving has been even more difficult. As hard as it was to watch him slowly fade away, at least he was here. And I know it wasn't easy for him; after all, he was the one who was dying. And I wouldn't want him back in the condition he was in at the end. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. This was one of our favorite times of the year. That's another reason why it's so difficult. Even though he hated pumpkin, he would make the pumpkin cheesecake that we always take; he'd even make my pumpkin/cranberry bread every once in a while if I didn't have time to do it. And every Thanksgiving morning, he'd make his egg bread. The recipe was for two loaves, but he'd braid them together to make one very large loaf, put an egg wash on it and sprinkle poppy seeds over the top. It not only looked good, it tasted wonderful.

Other than the bread (he didn't get a chance to teach me how to do that), I did all the baking myself this year. I made the cheesecake last Sunday; it's been in the refrigerator since then. It looked great coming out of the oven, so I'm hopeful that it will taste as if he made it. I also made the pumpkin/cranberry bread; took half a loaf to my next door neighbor Matt, who has been a great neighbor for the past 15 years; took a whole loaf to the office and gave the recipe to two of my coworkers, who want to make some of their own. The only item left is the green bean casserole, which I will bake so that it comes out of the oven just before I leave to pick up Carl.

Once again, thanks to all my friends and family who have helped me get through this most difficult year.