Post-Thanksgiving blues

Over the past three days, I've been surrounded by my good friends as we celebrated the holiday. It was emotional at times, but I survived. Now that I'm back home, that lonely feeling has surfaced again. This was a very difficult Thanksgiving for me; I missed Dennis terribly, even though overall, the four-day weekend was pretty good. We held a moment of silence for Dennis and Bernie (another long-time member of the Thanksgiving Day crowd) before we sat down for the meal. It wasn't exactly silent for me as the tears were flowing, but I think you know what I mean. Even though there were fewer people than we've had at the last few gatherings, the food was good, the company was good, and the day was worthwhile, albeit painful—at least for me.

Friday, Saturday and this morning, I was up in Angwin, California (in Napa Valley), visiting an old friend and her partner. It was nice getting out of the city for a couple of days. Sure is quiet up there! We just hung out, visited, ate, watched college football all day Saturday (go Blue!) and had a nice visit. But now that I'm back, the house just feels so empty. Which just goes to show you, even though good friends have helped get me through this ordeal I've been on this year, friendship only goes so far. They can't all come and stay with me. And the empty house just makes missing Dennis even more difficult. Not only was I missing him, I had my first Thanksgiving without Mom being around. Even though over the past 30 years I have not had Thanksgiving with her, it was very strange not being able to talk to her that day. I did speak to my sister, who was having a pretty difficult day herself. She was Mom's caregiver over the past eight years, and it was rough on her. We cried together over the phone. One more month and it will be one year since he passed. Difficult times ahead.