Holiday season blues

With the upcoming holiday season approaching, one of the most difficult parts about the whole time period, besides the fact that Dennis is not here physically, is the fact that this time of year was one of our favorite times. We always referred to this season as the "excessive eating" holidays. And Dennis was really in his element. What with his cooking skills, the kitchen was always filled with the aromas of the season. Even though he did not care for pumpkin at all, he always made the pumpkin cheesecake we would take to Jim and Greg's as one of our food donations. Another recipe was for pumpkin/cranberry bread, which I generally would make but he made it for me a couple of times. The recipe makes two loaves and I'd always bring one into the office to share with my coworkers. I never did take home leftovers; the treats would disappear almost as soon as I put them out on the table.

Not every year, but most years we would host a holiday party. The variety of foods that we would prepare was astounding. He would scour through cookbooks and the food section of the newspaper, along with watching the Food Network, looking for recipes and ideas. We would average between one to two dozen different items. My specialty was always meatballs, so I'd make either Swedish or porcupine meatballs (based in a chili sauce with rice as the "quills"); it was a recipe that my grandmother used to make, though mine would come out spicier than hers. He'd be in charge of the rest of the food and I'd help wherever I could. The last large party we threw was a combination holiday/anniversary party, as we had celebrated our 25th in September and we held the party in December of 2005. We created so many food items that I still retain the list of goodies, which included cheese empanadas, a seafood sandwich roll, deviled ham puffs (pastry balls filled with deviled ham), Swedish and porcupine meatballs (I went crazy that year), crab cakes, prosciutto pinwheels, horseshoe cookies, pumpkin/cranberry bread, feta and spinach pinwheels, fudge, pork bites with mushrooms, crab and cream cheese spread to put on party sized home-baked egg bread, deviled eggs, shrimp with various dipping sauces, and champagne punch. Other than that, we didn't have much (insert snicker here).

Remembering that party brings a smile to my face. But facing the upcoming holiday season has brought a case of the blues because he's not here to help share it this time. I know my friends will help me get through the whole six weeks of the season, but it won't be the same. I'm going to go to the store later and get some of the items I need because I've decided I will do some of the baked goodies we've always done. It's just another part of the process I've been going through all year. It has to be done. I may break down and have a good cry while doing it, but I will get through it. And once I'm done, there will be some great tasting food for friends to share with me.