Emotions running rampant

Between now and the end of the year represents the end of my "year of firsts" since Dennis died. Looking ahead at the upcoming holiday season (from Thanksgiving to year end) literally reduces me to tears. I've managed to make it through all the other firsts, but the ones on the horizon are going to be the most difficult. It has been 31 years since I've had to celebrate the holidays without Dennis around, and needless to say, that saddens me. I have made plans to be with close friends during this time, but friends can only do so much. I'm looking forward to getting through this year of firsts but at the same time I can't stand the thought. Conflicting emotions running rampant. I had another major crying spell last night; haven't had one that lasted as long as it did for quite a while now. So what's the answer? I guess just one step at a time.