The big question

And that big question is: what the hell am I going to do with the rest of my life? I think about Dennis all the time; he never leaves my mind. I'm having so much trouble getting past the fact that he is no longer here that I just don't know what to do any longer. I know I am getting used to the fact that he's not here any more, but that fact doesn't make it any easier to try to figure out what I'm going to do with the rest of my life. I've registered on some gay-related dating sites, but come on. Is that really the way things are done nowadays? I really won't even consider dating anyone from the pool league I've been in for years because it would almost seem incestuous. I mean, I've known most of these people for 25+ years and all of them know me as "rickanddennis" or "dennisandrick" and I don't think I could get past that fact. They don't really know me as "Rick only" and I'm not sure how I should handle that fact. So what is the answer? I certainly don't have it at the moment and I don't know when it will ever show itself to me. I guess that's why it's the "big question" right now, huh?