Loneliness creeps in like the fog

As regular as the fog is to San Francisco, the feeling of loneliness creeps into my life and at times, never seems to let go. The latest bout started Thursday night. I was reading the newspaper and when I read something interesting, I turned to tell Dennis about it. Of course, he's not there. "Shit, it sure is lonely around here," I say aloud. Then the tears start. Last night (Friday) brought its own set of problems. It's now 39 weeks since he passed and Friday nights still are difficult. I am learning to live with the fact that he's not here anymore, but "getting over it" is just not going to happen. After all this time, I still can't believe he's gone. With Mom's recent passing, I've lost two of the most important people in my life in the last nine months and I'm just numb. Just when I thought 2010 was the lousiest year of my life, 2011 is turning into a pretty rotten year as well. Everything seems so trivial now. The roller coaster ride that is my life continues unabated.