31st anniversary

It's going to be a long, difficult day. This is the first time I've "celebrated" our anniversary without him being here. One year ago today, we were flying back to Detroit to spend time with his family. His brother John was coming in from the Phoenix area and his two sisters, Sandie & Eileen, live there. It was the first time they'd all been together since 1998. It was a very special long weekend (5 days) and we really enjoyed ourselves. We didn't know it at the time, but it was the last time we all got together, because he died in December. I'm using one of my personal days today, so no work for me today. I'm going to be around the house all day, digging out old photos, remembering, crying, just endlessly thinking about him and our life together. Eventually I'll be able to enjoy this day, but today I'm just sad. I miss him so much.

A happier time - 20th anniversary in Waikiki

I haven't been to our favorite restaurant since he died, so tonight two of my closest friends and I are going to go there; I'll try to enjoy it, but just getting through it is the main goal. I don't know if "enjoy" is really in the equation. In fact, just getting through this first year without him has been a persistent goal. A few more ruts to get through and before you know it, one year will have passed by. I've decided that I don't want to spend the Christmas holidays here at home, so I'm going to Palm Springs over those few days and will spend them with my friend Des. I just can't face being alone in the house at that time.