In praise of friends

If you've been following this blog, you are aware that this has been a particularly difficult year for me as I attempt to "heal" from the loss of Dennis. I don't know if "heal" is the correct word but "get over it" is not in the lexicon either. You don't "get over" the loss of someone you were with for over 30 years. As I learned in both individual and group therapy, you learn to live with it, which is quite different from getting over it. Having experienced the depths of depression, I can truly state that if it weren't for my friends, I'm not sure I would have gotten through this year. Don't get me wrong, I've never considered suicide as the answer to what I've been going through, but the depth of my depression has surprised even me.

In particular, I want you all to know that if it weren't for my friends Donna Blow, her partner Nancy Muller, and their son Joshua, along with my closest friend, Tom Wade, I don't think I could have survived. There are others who have been there for me at different points in time, but these four have been there without question, without hesitation for me through the entire ordeal I've been going through. Friends like these are a very rare commodity and I appreciate them more than they could ever know (unless they read this, of course). Tom even knew Dennis before I did and he continues to be "amazed" that Dennis is not physically with us any longer. Donna's insight into some of the "firsts" I'd be experiencing was prescient. Her foresight helped me get through my birthday because she made sure that I would not be by myself, as she suggested that I join her in Palm Springs that weekend. Tom, Donna and I had a wonderful weekend—through tears and all. I used both their shoulders that weekend.

I've mentioned before that I'm going to be in Palm Springs over the Christmas holiday as I could not even think about being home by myself at that time. What with his passing on Christmas Eve, the next ten days are going to be very difficult for me. Donna, Nancy and Joshua were planning to be in their second home during this time anyhow, but Donna showed her true colors when she informed me that instead of spending a day or two in LA visiting a friend, when she flies down to LA on the 23rd, she and Joshua will be driving to Palm Springs instead. As she told me, "I want to be there all weekend for you." And that's the kind of friend she is—remarkable.

So this article is aimed at the four of them. A very large thank you goes to each of you. I love all of you and count you as people who will be in my life forever.