Ten trips to paradise

Waikiki from helicopter ride with Tom

Beginning in 1986, Dennis and I made 10 trips to Hawaii, eight of them to Waikiki on the island of Oahu and two trips to Kauai. The first time I personally went was in 1985, when Mom and Dad went for a three-week stay with Mom’s sister, my Aunt Betty. It was a last minute thing; I was able to get time off from work, Dennis was not able to do so. My best friend Tom Wade was able to get time off, so the two of us went for a week in Waikiki during the time Mom and Dad were going to be there. Tom and I did a lot of tourist stuff, from going to the Arizona memorial at Pearl Harbor, to enjoying a quick helicopter tour that went over Diamond Head crater to Hanauma Bay, a popular snorkeling spot. This trip inspired me to make Hawaii our vacation area of choice for the rest of the time we were together, and once Dennis went, he wholeheartedly agreed with me.

During 20th anniversary trip

Dennis truly fell in love with Hawaii. He always used to say, “Don’t you feel the energy?” And of course with me being the typical Taurean, I’d always reply, “No. I feel the sun on me and I feel the trade winds, but I don’t really ‘feel’ the energy. Sorry, dear.” We always got a laugh out of it. We even managed a trip to Waikiki while he was going through chemotherapy after his colon cancer surgery in April of 1994. His routine had been one week of chemotherapy, followed by three weeks without any. The doctor told him he could go an extra week before his next session, so we scheduled a week in Waikiki in June. That trip, the Honolulu Aquarium had reopened after its remodel and Dennis was in seventh heaven while studying the exhibits. Being an Aquarian (the water bearer of the cosmos), water was his element. Though to be honest about it, even I enjoyed looking at all the colorful fish and coral exhibits.

25th Anniversary trip

It’s kind of difficult trying to remember what we did on each trip, but after our first trip when we did a lot of tourist stuff, we mostly would go for relaxation. I do recall on one of our two trips to Kauai, I read seven books in nine days (I’m a voracious reader). But that’s what we were there for: to relax and do nothing. The islands are very romantic and needless to say, our sex life was richly rewarded every time we went. We always had a wonderful physical relationship, but it was enhanced each time we went to the islands.

The one thing we also did each time we were in Hawaii was go to the beach—every single day. Even last year, when he was struggling with his walking due to his ALS, we still went to the beach every day. From our hotel to the area where we would go (the gay area is just past what’s called Queen Surf Beach—ironic, huh?), it was approximately one-quarter mile, so it took us a while to get there. He would tire easily, but along the walkway there were benches, and he’d say, “Bench coming up.” We’d stop until he had enough energy to complete the trip. He was a real trooper.

One of our more memorable trips was our first time in Kauai. I had received approximately half of the money that our friend Victor left me when he died. I had been his power of attorney and had helped him a lot during his last months of life, and he wanted to make sure we had enough money for a down payment on a house (a dream of ours). Victor left me just under $50,000. On this trip, we stayed at a gay owned Bed & Breakfast. We had our own “unit” in the lower part of the main house (the separate cottage was already rented out when we made our reservations). There was a large backyard with an eight-foot tall privacy hedge made of hibiscus, a good size pool with Jacuzzi, and the gardens were in full bloom. We treated ourselves royally that trip, going out to eat at a nice restaurant each night; we took an hour-long helicopter ride around the entire island, and just had a grand time. If it hadn’t been as expensive as it was to travel to Kauai, we would probably have visited this island more often, but Waikiki fit our budget better, and once we discovered the Cabana at Waikiki (the gay resort hotel), we really did enjoy staying in a gay environment.

Waiting for shuttle after 30th anniversary

Eventually, I’d like to go back for a visit, but I’m not ready yet. It would be too painful. And I’d also like to scatter some of his ashes there, which I know he’d appreciate. I’m sure I can convince Tom to accompany me and we’ll have a ceremony; I’m not sure yet where I’ll scatter them, but I’m leaning toward Hanauma Bay, because he loved going into the water to see all the fish and coral that make it such a spectacular place.