Palm Springs Weekend

I just spent four days (April 28th to May 1st) in Palm Springs, California with two of my dearest friends. It was my first visit there and it was a very enjoyable long weekend, even though there were a few emotional times. The trip was in response to an invitation from Donna to join her and my best friend Tom in a long weekend to celebrate my 60th birthday. You may recall that I mentioned this invite in my last post, when I was wondering if my mood at that time would spoil the weekend, because I was struggling with really missing Dennis and I didn't want my unhappiness to spill over into the weekend. My concerns turned out to be unwarranted, as we did have a very nice time.

The back of Donna's house with pool

It was 93 degrees when we stepped off the plane on Thursday afternoon, but the next three days didn't get that hot. The average temperature was between 80 to 85, very comfortable weather for someone used to living in the temperate San Francisco Bay Area. After picking up the rental car, we drove to Donna's, got the tour of the house and backyard (with pool) and then headed out to the downtown area for a street art fair. It felt good to be able to wander around in shorts, shirt and sandals instead of being bundled up in a coat. Knowing that we didn't need "stuff" made the trek more enjoyable; we concentrated on buying food items instead, picking up sweet-tasting strawberries, along with two flavors of fudge. Once we were done at the fair, we enjoyed dinner which included the tenderest calamari any of us had ever tasted. They were breaded strips of calamari instead of the usual "round" tentacles you usually see served at restaurants. At a different restaurant the next night, we once again had calamari so we could compare the two—the strips of calamari were the clear winner in taste and texture.

Tom & I at lookout point in San Jacinto park

On the flight down, Tom had mentioned that he wanted to take the aerial tramway up the mountain and I thought that sounded like fun. Donna dropped us off, as she suffers from vertigo and didn't want to accompany us. Just before we got on the tramway to return down the mountain, we phoned her so she'd be able to meet and pick us up. The upgraded tramway has a movable floor so you're given a 360 degree view. We were able to capture a spot next to a window on the way back down, which enabled us to get a better view than on the way up. On a clear day (which seems to happen every day) you can see for over 50 miles according to the tramway operator. The trip up the mountain takes eleven minutes and you go from approximately 2,000 feet to over 8,500 feet in altitude. Once you are at the top, there are hiking trails for those people so inclined to do so, along with a restaurant, a bar, and the usual gift shops. We have a tradition at my office: bring back a refrigerator magnet from your trip. The office's refrigerator is loaded with about 50 magnets from all over the world and I added yet another when I returned to work.

Des McAuley & I in his backyard

Des's house from the back

We went back to Donna's for some lunch and I contacted an old friend of mine that I had not seen since he moved from San Francisco in the late 1980s. In fact, Dennis and I had thought that he may have passed away, as we had not received his annual holiday card for the past four years. But in December we received a card and I noticed that he was no longer in Laguna Beach, but was in a place called Cathedral City. I used Mapquest and found that it was a "suburb" of Palm Springs. The only holiday card I sent out in 2010 went to Des; I filled him in on what was happening in our lives and incredibly, he phoned me on Christmas Eve, about two hours before Dennis died. With all that was going on at the house when he called, I neglected to get his phone number, so once Dennis passed away, I sent Des a short note along with a laminated obituary card that I had made up for his Celebration of Life Party. After receiving my note, Des phoned again and this time I got his contact information. I also told him that I'd be in Palm Springs at the end of April. We agreed that we'd get together while I was in town. It was great seeing him after all these years; the three of us all went and spent a few hours with him. Des has a lovely home and I now have a standing invitation to visit him whenever I want—which I will definitely take him up on later this year.


Tom made arrangements to spend some time Saturday night with a friend of his who lives in Palm Springs. Donna and I dropped him off to meet his friend, then we went to dinner at a Mexican restaurant, then went to the casino. Something didn't smell right as soon as we walked in the place. Strolling through the casino, I noticed people were smoking and saw ashtrays located next to every slot machine we passed. I looked at Donna and said, "No wonder it stinks in here. They allow smoking inside. I don't think I'm going to be able to stay here for very long."

"I had forgotten they allow it," replied Donna. "They are supposed to have a pretty good ventilation system, but our best bet would be to stay for just a little while."

"I agree. I don't care how 'good' their supposed ventilation system is, I can still smell smoke and it really turns me off."

We only stayed for about an hour and a half, then I just couldn't take it any more. I always limit myself to $100 when I'm gambling, and I walked out only losing about $68 as our last spin on the "Wheel of Fortune" slot machine garnered us 250 credits (it was a 25 cent machine), so Donna and I split the $65 winnings, then headed back to the house to play pool.

Once back at the house, Donna dug out her portable ghetto blaster and we found a dance station that was having a 1970s dance party, which struck us funny as Tom had mentioned that he was frustrated in not being able to find a dance bar that played 1970s disco music. We phoned Tom and told him we were partying at the house and mentioned the station we were listening to and hoped he'd be able to get back to the house before the party music ended at midnight. He texted back a while later that he'd be home around 11pm. All three of us knew the words to almost every song that came on and just enjoyed each other's company while listening to songs we had all danced to way back when.

Sunday morning once again found the sun shining brightly. Donna had gone out earlier and gotten the local Sunday paper along with the New York Times Sunday edition, so we spent the morning pouring over the papers and watching the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate (which we had taped because to watch the live version would have meant being up about 3am and none of us were willing to do that). It was my birthday and I was really missing Dennis that morning, to the extent that I had a couple of major crying spells, but I had two of my closest friends with me and they loaned me their shoulders yet again. We went to brunch later that morning, eating in the outside area of one of the local restaurants. Later that afternoon while I was sitting by the pool, Tom and Donna went inside the house, then a few minutes later came out signing happy birthday and carrying a small cake with three candles. Right before they got to me, a gust of wind blew out the candles, and Donna stated, "Oops, looks like Dennis already blew out the candles for you, but go ahead and make a wish anyhow."

We all laughed and I cut the cake. About half way through my piece, the tears started flowing again, but they were there once again to comfort me. So even though the weekend contained many tears on my part, I am very glad that I went and thank Donna for her insight of how my birthday weekend could be emotional for me—which it was—but having dear friends around to help me through it made it a very special weekend. I am very happy that my age now starts with a six instead of a five, as my 59th year was a real bitch and I am ecstatic to get rid of that year. I feel renewed on my 60th birthday and am hopeful that "the new Rick" is starting to emerge from the fog that has shrouded me since December. It's the first time I've felt good since Dennis died and I'm starting to look forward to the remainder of my life, even though I realize it will be without the love of my life. I will always love you dear, and you will remain in my heart until it's my time to join you on the other side.