I know it's been along time since I posted anything, so if you're a regular reader I hope you haven't been too disappointed but here I am, back with at this one article.
For the first time in the three years since Dennis passed, I came into December not knowing what it held in store for me. Much to my surprise, when I got the Christmas decorations out of their bin, I did it without breaking down in tears. It came as a somewhat revelation to me, showing me a real progress since his death.
I am now staying home for the Christmas holiday, the first time in three years as well. If you've read the blog, you know I went to Palm Springs the past two years. On Christmas Eve, I will be with my best friend, Tom Wade, his cousin Jim and Tom's friend Elizabeth. Tom told me the other day that Jim is bringing someone too, so there will be five of us. We are going out to dinner at a restaurant in the Castro area. I know I will make it through the evening, most of all because Tom and I go back over 35 years of friendship and Dennis's death hit him hard too. Dennis died at 7:45pm on Christmas Eve 2010. Since that night, when Christmas Eve rolls around, I have toasted him with whomever I was with at the time. Tom has done the same thing; this will be the first time we've been together for the toast.
Now that I can see real progress in my grieving process, I've been thinking of having a scattering of his ashes on his upcoming birthday, February 2. Turns out, it's a Sunday and not only that, but Super Bowl Sunday. What with it being Ground Hog's Day as well, seems like the perfect time to finally do this deed. I plan to ask a small group of people to attend—the usual suspects—Tom, Donna & Nancy and son Joshua, and I think I'll even contact his son to see if he wants to participate.
