Flounder is more than a fish

You can groan at the pun in the title if you wish. It was just one of those weeks. We had our monthly all-four-office staff meeting Tuesday, followed by our own office staff meeting. Michelle, our Senior Vice President, thought it would be fun to have each of us relate what cultural component we brought to the firm when we were hired. We took a ten minute break so people could gather a "trinket" of some kind that would represent what would be talked about. I immediately thought of the photos I have of Dennis and I. Each of my photos are framed and I chose the one that showed us on our honeymoon in September 1980 on top and a photo of us on our 30th anniversary in September 2010.

I didn't realize at the time I grabbed the photo, but when it was my turn to talk, I got very emotional and said that I had brought "Rick and Dennis" to the Harder culture, and then I just couldn't talk anymore. Michelle spoke up, "And Dennis is here with us in spirit always."

Ever since that day, I have been floundering again. I'm teary-eyed right now writing about it. Twenty months have passed by since he died and I've been feeling pretty good lately. Then the above happened and I'm going through another phase of "crying at the drop of a hat pin" — see, I can still keep a sense of humor. I added the word "pin" to that phrase years ago as a way of "gaying" it up a bit. I'm beginning to realize that what they told us in therapy—you never get over it, you learn to live with it—is really holding true. I had thought that crying spells were over but I've been proven wrong—again. All I can do is keep going forward.

Vacation's over

I have not written much lately but mostly it's because I was away on a 2-week vacation. I visited Dennis's sisters in Michigan and had a wonderful time. Also got to look up some old friends and even saw 2 of my 3 siblings. Other than the weather being too hot most of the time, it was a great vacation. Head back to work tomorrow, which is always a reality check. I'll write more later as I'm busy with chores today.